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Why You Need This New Edition, i
Copyright, vi
Preface, xxi
Part 1. Basics of Competent Communication, 2
Chapter 1. Introduction to Interpersonal Communication, 2
The Study of Interpersonal Communication, 4
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Communication and Our Changing World, 4
Interpersonal Communication Competence, 5
Effectiveness and Appropriateness, 5
Knowledge Power: Is Your Communication Effective and Appropriate?, 6
Communication Competence and Civility, 6
Knowledge Power: Uncivil Communication, 7
Communication Competence and Ethics, 7
Motivation & Mindwork: Are You an Ethical Communicator?, 8
Motivation, Knowledge, and Skill, 8
Becoming a Competent Communicator, 10
Contexts and Interpersonal Communication, 11
Culture Context, 11
Knowledge Power: The Squeaky Wheel or the Nail Hammered Down?, 12
Relationship Context, 13
Knowledge Power: What Are Your Family Rules and Stories?, 14
Knowledge Power: Communication Competence at Work, 14
Gender Context, 15
Individual Context, 16
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Sex and Communication Behavior, 17
Knowledge Power: Student and Worker and Child, Oh My!, 18
Types of Communication, 18
Knowledge Power: Are You a Good Communicator?, 18
Intrapersonal Communication, 19
Interpersonal Communication, 20
Knowledge Power: Treated as an Object, 20
Relational Communication, 22
Knowledge Power: Is it Control or Connection?, 22
Metacommunication, 23
Metacommunication at the Content Level of Meaning, 23
Metacommunication at the Relational Level of Meaning, 24
Skill Practice: Metacommunication, 25
Competence & Critical Thinking: The Switch and Relational Communication, 26
Principles of Communication, 27
Communication Is Transactional, 27
Communication Is Irreversible, 28
Communication Is an Ongoing Process, 28
Communication Is Inevitable, 28
Components in a Transactional Model of Communication, 29
Elements Involved in the Communication Process, 29
Using Model Components to Analyze Interpersonal Communication, 30
Chapter Review, 32
Study Questions, 32
Names to Know, 33
Key Terms, 33
Chapter 2. Perception and Communication, 34
Introduction to Perception, 36
Why It’s Important to Study Perception and Communication, 36
Reciprocal Relationship, 36
Different Realities, 36
Knowledge Power: Is It a Masterpiece or Something a Child Could Have Painted?, 37
The Stages in the Perception Process, 38
Selection, 38
Organization, 38
Knowledge Power: This Offer Won’t Last, So Call Now!, 38
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: “Rights” versus “Right”: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 39
Interpretation, 41
Perceptual Biases, 42
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Person Perception and Computer-Mediated Communication (CMC), 43
Selectivity, 43
Knowledge Power: Love Is Blind, 44
Confusing Fact with Inference, 44
Knowledge Power: Truthful Information or Hurtful Gossip, 45
Attributional Errors, 45
Knowledge Power: Taking Credit or Assigning Blame, 46
Describing Sense Data and Perception Checking to Prevent Perceptual Bias, 46
Skill Practice: Communicating Descriptions Based on Sense Data, 47
Skill Practice: Perception Checking, 48
Contexts and Perception, 49
Culture Context, 49
Relationship Context, 50
Gender Context, 52
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Communication, Sex, and Perception, 53
Individual Context, 53
Contexts and Improving Communication Competence, 54
Motivation & Mindwork: Walk a Mile in My Shoes, 55
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Stereotyping and Prejudice, 55
Stereotyping, 55
Competence & Critical Thinking: The Saga of Susan and Juan and Perception, 56
Knowledge Power: All___are___?, 57
Prejudice, 58
Minimizing Stereotypic and Prejudicial Perceptions, 58
A Case Study in Ethics: The Phantom Blogger, 59
Chapter Review, 60
Study Questions, 60
Names to Know, 61
Key Terms, 61
Chapter 3. The Self-Concept and Communication, 62
Introduction to the Self-Concept, 64
Characterization of the Self-Concept, 64
The Formation and Development of the Self-Concept, 64
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Communication, Self-Concept, and Civil Discourse: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 65
Why It’s Important to Study Self-Concept, 66
Knowledge Power: “You’re Just Saying That to Make Me Feel Better!”, 66
Motivation & Mindwork: I Want to Change . . ., 67
Motivation & Mindwork: I’m Not So Bad After All!, 68
Characteristics and Components of the Self-Concept, 69
Self-Image and Self-Esteem, 69
Knowledge Power: Do You Like Yourself?, 70
Perceived as Multidimensional, 70
Influenced by Self-Disclosure, 70
Based on Subjective Information, 72
The “Face” We Present to Others, 73
Knowledge Power: Matching “faces”?, 73
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Self-Concept, Identity, and Computer-Mediated Communication (CMC), 74
Skill Practice: Face-Saving Communication, 75
Contexts and Self-Concept, 76
Culture Context, 76
Relationship Context, 77
Gender Context, 78
Individual Context, 79
Competence & Critical Thinking: Aisha’s Term Paper and the Self-Concept, 80
Defensiveness and Nondefensive Reactions, 81
Defensive Reactions, 82
Knowledge Power: Shouting, Excusing, Avoiding, or Denying?, 83
Nondefensive Reaction Skills, 84
Skill Practice: Nondefensive Reactions, 86
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Inflated Self-Esteem, 87
Academic Performance, 87
Interpersonal Relations, 87
A Case Study in Ethics: “I’m a Loser...”, 89
Chapter Review, 90
Study Questions, 90
Names to Know, 91
Key Terms, 91
Chapter 4. Emotion and Communication, 92
Introduction to Emotions, 94
Why It’s Important to Study Emotions and Communication, 94
Knowledge Power: Am I Happy, Angry, or Sad?, 95
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Incivility on-the-job: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 95
Emotions and Physiology: Fast-Track and Slow-Track Circuit Emotions, 96
Emotions and the Fast-Track Circuit, 96
Knowledge Power: I’m Scared and I Don’t Know Why!, 97
Emotions and the Slow-Track Circuit, 98
Types of Emotions, 98
Primary and Mixed Emotions, 98
Emotion Families, 98
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Emotion and Computer-Mediated Communication, 99
Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions, 99
Managing Our Emotions, 101
Managing Fast-Track Circuit Emotions, 101
Motivation & Mindwork: Listening to “Body Talk”, 102
Managing Slow-Track Circuit Emotions, 102
Motivation & Mindwork: Which Thoughts Cause My Emotions?, 103
Motivation & Mindwork: Managing My Debilitative Emotions, 103
Expressing Our Emotions, 104
Setting Realistic Goals, 104
Improving Our Emotional Intelligence, 104
Knowledge Power: Testing Your EQ, 105
The Communication of Emotions, 105
Skill Practice: Owning Our Emotions, 107
Competence & Critical Thinking: Drive Me Nuts and Emotions, 108
Contexts and Emotions, 109
Culture Context, 109
Relationship Context, 110
Gender Context, 112
Individual Context, 112
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Workplace Bullying and Mobbing, 113
A Case Study in Ethics: Gays in the Military—Protest by the Westboro Baptist Church, 115
Chapter Review, 116
Study Questions, 117
Names to Know, 117
Key Terms, 117
Part 2. Creating Competent Messages, 118
Chapter 5. Verbal Communication, 118
Introduction to Verbal Communication, 120
Characterization of Verbal Communication, 120
Knowledge Power: □ ☆ ○ ☾ ▭ △, 121
Why It’s Important to Study Verbal Communication, 121
Interpersonal Communication Motives and Verbal Communication, 121
Verbal Communication and Meaning, 122
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Profanity and Curse Words: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 123
Denotative and Connotative Meanings, 123
Knowledge Power: Do We Really “Rest” in the Restroom?, 124
The Coordinated Management of Meaning, 125
Skills for Improving Verbal Communication, 126
Abstraction, 126
Skill Practice: Using Specific and Concrete Words, 128
Indiscrimination and Allness, 128
Indexing and Owning Our Thoughts, 128
Skill Practice: Indexing and Owning Thoughts, 129
Static Evaluation, 129
Dating Information, 129
Competence & Critical Thinking: Words That Wound and Verbal Communication, 130
Skill Practice: Dating Information, 132
Verbal Communication’s Influence On Thought, 132
Carefully Chosen Words Affect Thought and Action, 132
Knowledge Power: Language Screens, 133
Words Subtly Affect Thought, 133
Contexts and Verbal Communication, 133
Culture Context, 133
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Words without English Equivalents, 135
Relationship Context, 135
Knowledge Power: Do You Have the “Clicker”?, 136
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: CMC and Verbal Communication, 137
Gender Context, 137
Individual Context, 138
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Sex and Verbal Communication, 138
Knowledge Power: What’s a “Blow-Off” Class?, 139
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Gender-Biased Language, 140
Gender-Biased Language, 140
Gender-Inclusive Language, 141
A Case Study in Ethics: Offensive Verbal Communication?, 143
Chapter Review, 144
Study Questions, 144
Names to Know, 145
Key Terms, 145
Chapter 6. Nonverbal Communication, 146
Introduction to Nonverbal Communication, 148
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Communication, Nonverbal Behavior, and Civility: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 149
Why It’s Important to Study Nonverbal Communication, 150
Meaning, 150
Relational Messages, 150
Knowledge Power: Your Words Say, “No” but Your Eyes Say, “Yes!”, 150
Functions of Nonverbal Communication, 151
Repeating, 151
Substituting, 151
Accenting, 152
Complementing, 152
Regulating, 153
Types of Nonverbal Communication, 153
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Computer-Mediated Communication and Nonverbal Communication, 153
Knowledge Power: Mind Reading, 154
Kinesics, 154
Knowledge Power: “My Hands Are Tied.”, 155
Knowledge Power: The Facial Action Coding Scheme, 156
Paralanguage, 158
Knowledge Power: “I Don’t Have an Accent but They Do!”, 159
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Linguistic Profiling, 159
Physical Characteristics, 160
Environment, 160
Knowledge Power: “Get Outta My Face!”, 163
Nonverbal Immediacy Behaviors, 163
Skill Practice: Nonverbal Immediacy Behaviors, 163
Contexts and Nonverbal Communication, 165
Culture Context, 165
Knowledge Power: “They Are So Rude!”, 166
Relationship Context, 166
Gender Context, 168
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Communication, Sex, and Nonverbal Communication, 168
Knowledge Power: You Sit Like a (Wo)Man!, 169
Individual Context, 169
Knowledge Power: “I Can See L-I-E Written All Over Your Face!”, 171
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Stalking, 171
Characteristics, 171
Competence & Critical Thinking: The Reunion and Nonverbal Communication, 172
Contending with Stalking Behaviors, 174
A Case Study in Ethics: “Does It Take a Village (and Corporal Punishment) to Raise a Child?”, 175
Chapter Review, 176
Study Questions, 176
Names to Know, 177
Key Terms, 177
Chapter 7. Conversation and Communication Style, 178
Introduction to Conversation and Communication Style, 180
Knowledge Power: What Conversation “Does”, 180
Why It’s Important to Study Conversation, 180
Conversation, Communication, Apprehension, and Motivation, 181
Motivation & Mindwork: Does CA Affect Your Motivation to Communicate?, 181
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Conversations, Cell Phones, and Civility: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 182
How Conversation Functions, 183
Speech Acts, 183
Knowledge Power: Is It a Question or Statement?, 184
The Cooperative Principle, 184
Knowledge Power: Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First?”, 185
Skills of Competent Conversationalists, 186
Beginning a Conversation, 186
Knowledge Power: Are You a Competent Conversationalist?, 187
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Asperger’s Syndrome, 187
Skill Practice: Asking Questions That Will Engage Others in Conversation, 189
Sustaining a Conversation, 189
Skill Practice: Sustaining a Conversation, 190
Concluding a Conversation, 191
Competence & Critical Thinking: Talk, Talk, Talk and Conversation, 192
Contexts, Conversation, and Communication Style, 193
Culture Context, 193
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Conversing with Computers, 194
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Code Switching, 195
Relationship Context, 196
Gender Context, 197
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Communication, Sex, and Conversation, 198
Individual Context, 199
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Conversational Dilemmas, 199
Knowledge Power: “I Can’t Win!”, 201
A Case Study in Ethics: Cell Phone Subterfuge, 201
Chapter Review, 202
Study Questions, 203
Names to Know, 203
Key Terms, 203
Chapter 8. Listening and Confirming Responses, 204
Introduction to Listening and Confirming Responses, 206
Why It’s Important to Study Listening and Confirming Responses, 207
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Listening, Confirming Responses, and Civility: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 208
Stages in the Listening Process, 208
Stage One: Receiving Verbal and/or Nonverbal Messages, 208
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Do Deaf People Listen?, 209
Knowledge Power: “Where’s That Noise Coming From?”, 210
Improving Our Ability to Receive Verbal and/or Nonverbal Messages, 210
Stage Two: Interpreting Verbal and/or Nonverbal Messages, 211
Improving Our Ability to Interpret Verbal and/or Nonverbal Messages, 211
Stage Three: Responding to Verbal and/or Nonverbal Messages, 212
Motivation & Mindwork: “I’m Sorry; What Was Your Name Again?”, 212
Knowledge Power: Your Daily Listening Habits, 213
Improving Our Ability to Respond to Verbal and/or Nonverbal Messages with Active Listening, 213
Types of Confirming Responses, 213
Prompting and Questioning, 214
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: The Internet and Supportive Communication, 215
Reassuring and Expressing Concern, 215
Analyzing and Advising, 216
Judging (Criticizing Constructively), 217
Paraphrasing Thoughts and Feelings, 218
Skill Practice: Communicating Constructive Criticism, 218
Skill Practice: Paraphrasing Thoughts and Feelings, 220
Contexts, Listening, and Confirming Responses, 220
Competence & Critical Thinking: Juggling Act (Unabridged) and Listening and Confirming Responses, 221
Culture Context, 222
Relationship Context, 222
Gender Context, 223
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Communication, Sex, and Listening and Confirming Responses, 223
Knowledge Power: “Do This” or “The Same Thing Happened to Me”?, 224
Individual Context, 224
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Face-Threatening Acts, 226
A Case Study in Ethics: Cochlear Implants, 227
Chapter Review, 228
Study Questions, 228
Names to Know, 229
Key Terms, 229
Part 3. Communication Competency in Relationships, 230
Chapter 9. Disconfirming Communication and Setting Boundaries, 230
Introduction to Disconfirming Communication and Setting Boundaries, 232
Disconfirming Communication, 232
Boundaries, 232
Why It’s Important to Study Disconfirming Communication and Setting Boundaries, 233
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Are You a Civil Communicator? Why Manners Matter, 234
Assertive, Aggressive, and Submissive Communication, 234
Aggression, 235
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Disconfirming Communication and Flaming, 236
Submission, 237
Assertion, 237
Knowledge Power: How Assertive Are You?, 238
Setting Boundaries with Assertive Communication, 239
Displacement Messages and Empathic Assertion, 239
Many Request Messages and the “Broken Record”, 240
Hate Speech and Boundary-Setting Responses to the Communication of Prejudice, 241
Skill Practice: The Broken Record, 241
Knowledge Power: Can You “Speak Up”?, 243
Knowledge Power: “I Wish I Would Have Said . . .”, 244
Competence & Critical Thinking: The Name Game and Disconfirming Messages and Setting Boundaries, 245
Contexts and Their Influence on Disconfirming Communication and Setting Boundaries, 246
Culture Context, 246
Relationship Context, 247
Knowledge Power: “Don’t Take It So Hard!”, 249
Gender Context, 250
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Communication, Sex, and Aggressive Behavior, 250
Individual Context, 251
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Covert Verbal Abuse, 251
Covert Verbal Abuse, 252
Contending with Covert Verbal Abuse, 252
A Case Study in Ethics: Jap Road, 253
Chapter Review, 254
Study Questions, 254
Names to Know, 255
Key Terms, 255
Chapter 10. Interpersonal Relationships, 256
Introduction to Interpersonal Relationships, 258
Characteristics of Personal Relationships, 258
Knowledge Power: Not Close, Closer, Closest, 258
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: What Is the Role of the Family?: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 259
Characteristics of Romantic Relationships, 260
Knowledge Power: Intimacy, Passion, or Commitment?, 260
Why It’s Important to Study Interpersonal Relationships, 261
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Motivation to Communicate: At Work and in Class, 261
Theoretical Perspectives About Interpersonal Relationships and Self-Disclosure, 262
Social Exchange Theory, 262
Social Penetration Theory, 263
Models of Relational Development, 264
Stage Models, 264
The Dialectical Tension Process Model, 265
Knowledge Power: Managing Your Dialectical Tensions, 267
Combination Models, 268
Skills in the Life Cycle of a Relationship, 269
Initiation Strategies, 269
Skill Practice: Relationship Initiation Strategies, 270
Bonding Strategies, 271
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Initiating and Bonding Online, 271
Competence & Critical Thinking: Do You Come Here Often? and Interpersonal Relationships, 272
Maintenance Strategies, 274
Skill Practice: Expressing Appreciation, 276
Repair Strategies, 276
Termination Strategies, 277
Knowledge Power: Bye-Bye Love, 277
Reconciliation Strategies, 278
Contexts and Interpersonal Relationships, 279
Culture Context, 279
Relationship Context, 280
Knowledge Power: “You Gotta Have Friends”, 281
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Communication, Sex, and Interpersonal Relationships, 283
Gender Context, 283
Individual Context, 284
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Relational Transgressions, 284
A Case Study in Ethics: The Secret Lover Collection, 286
Chapter Review, 287
Study Questions, 288
Names to Know, 288
Key Terms, 289
Chapter 11. Interpersonal Conflict, 290
Introduction to Interpersonal Conflict, 292
Why It’s Important to Study Interpersonal Conflict, 292
Knowledge Power: Analyze Your Conflicts, 292
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Communication, Conflict, and Civility: Are You a Civil Communicator?, 294
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Technology Update: Interpersonal Conflict and Computer-Mediated Communication, 295
Types of Interpersonal Conflict, 295
Pseudoconflict, 295
Content Conflict, 297
Value Conflict, 297
Ego Conflict, 297
Knowledge Power: Types of Interpersonal Conflicts, 298
Personal Conflict Styles, 298
Avoiding, 298
Accommodating, 299
Competing, 300
Compromising, 300
Knowledge Power: I’ll Give Up Something If You Give Up Something, 301
Collaborating, 301
Collaborative Conflict Resolution, 301
Collaboration and Communication Competence, 301
A Collaborative Conflict Resolution Method, 303
Skill Practice: Engaging in Collaborative Conflict Resolution, 305
Communicating Apologies and Forgiveness, 305
Apologies, 305
Skill Practice: Communicating Apologies, 306
Forgiveness, 307
Motivation & Mindwork: REACH for Forgiveness, 307
Knowledge Power: How Willing Are You to Forgive?, 308
Contexts and Interpersonal Conflict, 308
Culture Context, 309
Relationship Context, 310
Knowledge Power: Emotional Outbursts or Calm Discussions?, 310
Gender Context, 311
Knowledge on the Cutting Edge: Putting It in Context: Sex, Communication, and Conflict, 312
Individual Context, 313
Competence & Critical Thinking: Jim and Jack Joust and Interpersonal Conflict, 314
Overcoming Communication Challenges: Couple Violence, 315
A Case Study in Ethics: Parents, Pixels, and Political Parties, 317
Chapter Review, 318
Study Questions, 319
Names to Know, 319
Key Terms, 319
Endnotes, 321
Photo Credits, 343
Glossary, 345
Index, 355

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